Building Self-Esteem to Conquer Your Goals!

By Mike Howard on Sep 17, 2010


All the traps and pitfalls in life, self esteem is the deadliest and hardest to overcome. For it is a pit designed and dug by our own hands, summed up in the phrase: It is no use, I cannot do it ~ Maxwell Maltz

According to some psychologists, self-esteem is the center of it all - THE most prominent factor when it comes to success in any health pursuit.

In any case, a struggle with self-esteem may be the sticking point you need to get past in order to succeed in your health goals. So, here are 10 ways to flex your self-esteem muscles.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others: This can be detrimental to your self-image and only serves to de-value who you are as an individual - a unique and wonderful individual.
2. Always accept and appreciate compliments: Try not to downplay or reject compliments from others. The ability to receive is a hallmark of self-efficacy.
3. Accept VALID criticism from those you trust: This may sound counterintuitive, as criticism can be the source of self-esteem issues, however feedback from those who are close to you should be accepted and appreciated just as compliments should.
4. Make a list of a) Your good qualities (kind, thoughtful, organized, etc.) b) Your hobbies (knitting, scrapbooking, decorating, etc). c) Things you are good at (car maintenance, scrabble, Sudoku, etc). This exercise will help re-enforce your qualities and aptitudes, which will in turn infuse some confidence.
5. Avoid making your problems the centerpiece of your conversation:Talk positively about your life and what you are working towards. Try and be aware of negative self-talk, take notice of how often you complain.
6. Set achievable goals: Write them down and take small steps towards achieving them. Celebrate and reward your successes along the way (not with food, though).
7. Use positive affirmations and tools: Ingraining positive thoughts often means repeating them often. Write them down and put them somewhere where you'll see them. Say things such as; "I am loved", "I am positive, motivated and liked", "Today is a great day to be alive", etc.
8. Help others: Volunteering your time to help others in some way just plain feels good. Use these feelings as a motivator for your other actions in life.
9. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people: Misery loves company and negativity begets negativity. Find circles of friends who love to laugh, keep things positive and are generally pleasant to be around. Peer groups are important for adults just as they are for children and teens.
10. Take responsibility: While negative self-esteem can be very limiting at times, taking a "woe is me" approach will only serve to keep you in the spiral of negativity and inaction. You and only you can choose to take action to better yourself, so commit to it, and take the necessary steps to reach your goals.

Do you have any tips for building self-esteem? How do you stay confident? If you feel you lack self-esteem, what do you think is holding you back?

Important note: Negative self-esteem may be a symptom of depression or other psychological disorders. Seek appropriate help if needed.

Image Credit: schadenfreude

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